Post Primary School
Peer Mediation Issues
Co-operation
It is better to try to get on with each other all the time. One way to do this is by co-operating. This means not always having to get our own way, sharing and working together.
Conflict
Conflict is another word for falling out, arguments and disagreements. Conflict really means going against something. We can make conflicts worse by being stubborn, nasty, not saying sorry when we should or talking behind someone’s back. We can make conflict better by listening to the other person’s point of view, saying sorry if we should, trying not to be nasty and getting an agreement.
Feelings
When we fall out with someone we can have many different feelings. A mediator asks two people who are in conflict how they feel about what happened and about what has been said about the other person. It is good to be able to say how you are feeling.
Active Listening
When helping people communicate, the peer mediator uses communication skills:
- Attending
- Summarising
- Clarifying
Altogether, these skills are called active listening.
Attending
Remember communication can be either spoken or unspoken. Attending means using non-verbal (unspoken) behaviours to show you hear.
Non-verbal behaviours include
- Eye contact
- Facial expressions e.g. smiling
- Gestures e.g. nodding your head
- Posture e.g. leaning forward
So, if you are leaning forward, smiling, nodding your head, and ignoring outside distractions, you are attending.
Summarising
Summarising means:
restating facts by repeating the most important points
recognising the feelings the disputant has about the conflict
Summarising lets the speaker know you are listening.
Clarifying
To clarify basically means to make sure.
Clarifying means using open-ended questions instead of closed questions.
Closed questions only allow one word answers.
Examples of closed questions
- Did you do that?
- Did you push him?
- Are you sad?
Examples of open-ended questions:
- How did you feel when that happened?
- Do you have anything to add?
- Tell me what happened next.
- What do you think would help you agree?
Clarifying helps to get more information and to make sure you understand